That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
