The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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