I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
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