$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
