I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
