Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
