im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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