i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
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