i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
