Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
