I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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