Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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