i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
