She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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