Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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