OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
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