just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
