Who did Billy Mays play for?
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
