so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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