Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I want to fling myself into the sun
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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