There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
How does one acquire holy water?
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Randomize
