Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Actions speak louder than pants.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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