me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
