Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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