woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
