we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Randomize
