I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
they call him Oral-B. enough said
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
