I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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