Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Randomize
