Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
My bed is full of blood and feathers
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
