ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
