it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Randomize
