I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
