Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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