You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
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