He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize
