I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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