Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Randomize
