go do what you do best...puke behind churches
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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