You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize
