What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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