come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Someone came in the potted fern
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
