some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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