mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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