mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I just had sex on a roof
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Randomize
