I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
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