Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
