How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
