This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
