I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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