I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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